Those who dump their parents in homes ought to realise that they will eventually meet the same fate, says this writer.
By Ronnie Poon 11 February 2009
In the corporate and business world, it is called succession planning when staff with potential are trained and groomed to provide the next level of support and leadership.
They are given all the opportunities, resources and exposure to prepare them for the career path ahead. This is no different from similar preparation in the political arena.
At home, the same is also true. Many families, especially Chinese ones, want a son to carry on the family name.
The son is favoured not only for his role in maintaining the roots of the ancestral tree, but also his ability to provide, hopefully, an umbrella for his parents in their old age.
Parents these days are prepared to have smaller families so that they can give their children the best life can offer.
It is not uncommon for some parents to even buy their children a car or a marital home. Call these actions by whatever name you want, but it all boils down to two fundamental reasons: kiasuism and over-pampering.
The hope is that their children will take care of them or provide them with a roof over their heads when they are old or sick.
However, there are many cases where grown-up children regard looking after parents and parents- in-law as a cost and a liability.
The most popular option these days is to send the parents to an old-age home, where they remain for the rest of their days.
Usually, the more well-to-do the family is, the more commonly this option is taken. This is because it doesn’t come cheap.
The reasons (or excuses) are various: Everyone is working, there’s no one to take care of them, the house is too small, the children are growing up and there are not enough rooms. Or: Why me, when there are other sons?
No wonder nursing homes are doing so well. Families are passing the buck to others just because they can afford to pay.
Many residents in old folk’s homes have not had a single visitor in weeks, months or even years after their admission.
Imagine the loneliness of aged parents as they face four walls, with no one to talk to. Being immobile, it’s worse than serving a jail sentence.
The reality of life in nursing homes is eat, sleep and wait for death.
Interestingly enough, sending parents away to nursing homes does not contravene the three-generation HDB concept (as the aged still keep the same registered address).
Dependants can still pocket an annual government grant given to those who share the same address as their aged parents.
Those who dump their parents in homes ought to realise that they will eventually meet the same fate. The day of reckoning will come when their own children follow their footsteps and let them have a taste of their own bitter medicine.
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Think before dumping parents in home
Those who dump their parents in homes ought to realise that they will eventually meet the same fate, says this writer.
By Ronnie Poon
11 February 2009
In the corporate and business world, it is called succession planning when staff with potential are trained and groomed to provide the next level of support and leadership.
They are given all the opportunities, resources and exposure to prepare them for the career path ahead. This is no different from similar preparation in the political arena.
At home, the same is also true. Many families, especially Chinese ones, want a son to carry on the family name.
The son is favoured not only for his role in maintaining the roots of the ancestral tree, but also his ability to provide, hopefully, an umbrella for his parents in their old age.
Parents these days are prepared to have smaller families so that they can give their children the best life can offer.
It is not uncommon for some parents to even buy their children a car or a marital home. Call these actions by whatever name you want, but it all boils down to two fundamental reasons: kiasuism and over-pampering.
The hope is that their children will take care of them or provide them with a roof over their heads when they are old or sick.
However, there are many cases where grown-up children regard looking after parents and parents- in-law as a cost and a liability.
The most popular option these days is to send the parents to an old-age home, where they remain for the rest of their days.
Usually, the more well-to-do the family is, the more commonly this option is taken. This is because it doesn’t come cheap.
The reasons (or excuses) are various: Everyone is working, there’s no one to take care of them, the house is too small, the children are growing up and there are not enough rooms. Or: Why me, when there are other sons?
No wonder nursing homes are doing so well. Families are passing the buck to others just because they can afford to pay.
Many residents in old folk’s homes have not had a single visitor in weeks, months or even years after their admission.
Imagine the loneliness of aged parents as they face four walls, with no one to talk to. Being immobile, it’s worse than serving a jail sentence.
The reality of life in nursing homes is eat, sleep and wait for death.
Interestingly enough, sending parents away to nursing homes does not contravene the three-generation HDB concept (as the aged still keep the same registered address).
Dependants can still pocket an annual government grant given to those who share the same address as their aged parents.
Those who dump their parents in homes ought to realise that they will eventually meet the same fate. The day of reckoning will come when their own children follow their footsteps and let them have a taste of their own bitter medicine.
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