Still looking for that special Mr. Right who’s taller, richer, older, stronger
He Huifeng 08 March 2010
On a recent Tuesday night, while watching a popular show, 37-year-old Shenzhen trade manager Zhong Wenshan found herself trembling with anger and self-pity on her couch after the show’s male host called single women older than 35 “Great Sage Equalling Heaven”.
Great Sage Equalling Heaven was the honorific given to the Monkey King, the main character in the ancient novel Journey to the West. But Chinese now use it to describe “leftover women” - not young but single - because sage and leftover are pronounced the same in Putonghua and Cantonese.
Zhong was hurt by what the TV host said, but she is not alone. “Leftover women” have become a hot topic on the mainland, especially in cities. Statistics indicate that there are roughly half a million single women aged between 25 and 50 living in Beijing, with the number reaching a million in Shanghai.
“Leftover women” seems an odd phenomenon on the mainland, which has been beset by a gender imbalance due to a centuries-old preference for males.
Demographic data shows there will be 30 million to 40 million more men of marriageable age than women by 2020, with one in every five men expected to have difficulty finding a wife.
However, more and more women are joining the “leftover” club, with last year’s financial crisis exacerbating the situation because fewer men were able to “afford” wives.
“I really mind people calling me ‘leftover’,” Zhong said. “I’m not one of those determined to be single. I’ve been looking for a good man for marriage for years. But it’s hard to find the right one.”
Zhong has a decent job and sound educational background but also high expectations of Mr. Right. “He should be city-born, not from a rural area; older than me; better educated than me, at least with a master’s degree; at least 175cm tall; have a good financial situation with a salary of at least 10,000 yuan (HK$11,350); and be healthy and gentle.
“In the past couple of years, my parents have become worried about my marriageability and have introduced me to some men, however, none of them were suitable. In traditional minds, a single woman above 30 is very odd and against orthodoxy.”
Such high and particular standards for choosing a spouse are a common reason for the existence of “leftover women”, Sun Yat-sen University women’s studies professor Lu Ying said.
“Modern society provides Chinese women with more opportunities than their mothers’ generation to have equal education and financial independence from men,” Lu said. “But they still follow the Chinese traditional marriage values that husbands are supposed to perform better than wives in every area.
“Western people focus more on ensuring their own happiness. But Chinese women usually set restrictions on themselves when finding a partner: he should be taller than I am, older than I am, stronger than I am and richer than I am.”
The All-China Women’s Federation released a survey last year showing that about 41 per cent of single women on the mainland were worried they might not be able to find the right person to marry.
However, only 8.1 per cent of single men felt the same way.
About 40 per cent of women admitted they had high expectations of their future husbands, but 44 per cent said they would not lower their standards just to get married.
As such women grow older but still refuse to lower their standards, the number of men who meet their requirements gradually grows smaller.
Soaring property prices and living costs have also worsened the predicament for “leftover women” and led to increasing numbers of them across the country.
“I look for satisfactory material conditions and similar family background in a husband, not just emotional attachment,” said Deng Liting, a 22-year-old graduate in Guangzhou. “Men must have an apartment before looking for a wife. That has been a prerequisite among all the women I know.”
Property prices in recent years have stung people across the country, which has a deep-rooted tradition that every family should “own” its own home; living in rented accommodation just doesn’t provide the same level of happiness and accomplishment.
“I have heard and witnessed many break-up stories in real life,” Deng said. “Young couples in love who are forced to separate, or young women leaving their poor boyfriends for rich married men since the young men can’t afford an apartment for marriage.”
She said she would not get married until she found a man who had an apartment.
“Most men in my age bracket are not qualified because a graduate usually earns around 2,000 to 3,000 yuan a month, while an apartment now costs millions,” she said.
To look for a man with property, Deng said she had been busy arranging blind dates after graduating from college.
“All young women do the same thing, as far as I know,” she said. “We all understand how hard it is to find a good man for marriage under the current economic situation.”
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Price too high for ‘leftover’ women
Still looking for that special Mr. Right who’s taller, richer, older, stronger
He Huifeng
08 March 2010
On a recent Tuesday night, while watching a popular show, 37-year-old Shenzhen trade manager Zhong Wenshan found herself trembling with anger and self-pity on her couch after the show’s male host called single women older than 35 “Great Sage Equalling Heaven”.
Great Sage Equalling Heaven was the honorific given to the Monkey King, the main character in the ancient novel Journey to the West. But Chinese now use it to describe “leftover women” - not young but single - because sage and leftover are pronounced the same in Putonghua and Cantonese.
Zhong was hurt by what the TV host said, but she is not alone. “Leftover women” have become a hot topic on the mainland, especially in cities. Statistics indicate that there are roughly half a million single women aged between 25 and 50 living in Beijing, with the number reaching a million in Shanghai.
“Leftover women” seems an odd phenomenon on the mainland, which has been beset by a gender imbalance due to a centuries-old preference for males.
Demographic data shows there will be 30 million to 40 million more men of marriageable age than women by 2020, with one in every five men expected to have difficulty finding a wife.
However, more and more women are joining the “leftover” club, with last year’s financial crisis exacerbating the situation because fewer men were able to “afford” wives.
“I really mind people calling me ‘leftover’,” Zhong said. “I’m not one of those determined to be single. I’ve been looking for a good man for marriage for years. But it’s hard to find the right one.”
Zhong has a decent job and sound educational background but also high expectations of Mr. Right. “He should be city-born, not from a rural area; older than me; better educated than me, at least with a master’s degree; at least 175cm tall; have a good financial situation with a salary of at least 10,000 yuan (HK$11,350); and be healthy and gentle.
“In the past couple of years, my parents have become worried about my marriageability and have introduced me to some men, however, none of them were suitable. In traditional minds, a single woman above 30 is very odd and against orthodoxy.”
Such high and particular standards for choosing a spouse are a common reason for the existence of “leftover women”, Sun Yat-sen University women’s studies professor Lu Ying said.
“Modern society provides Chinese women with more opportunities than their mothers’ generation to have equal education and financial independence from men,” Lu said. “But they still follow the Chinese traditional marriage values that husbands are supposed to perform better than wives in every area.
“Western people focus more on ensuring their own happiness. But Chinese women usually set restrictions on themselves when finding a partner: he should be taller than I am, older than I am, stronger than I am and richer than I am.”
The All-China Women’s Federation released a survey last year showing that about 41 per cent of single women on the mainland were worried they might not be able to find the right person to marry.
However, only 8.1 per cent of single men felt the same way.
About 40 per cent of women admitted they had high expectations of their future husbands, but 44 per cent said they would not lower their standards just to get married.
As such women grow older but still refuse to lower their standards, the number of men who meet their requirements gradually grows smaller.
Soaring property prices and living costs have also worsened the predicament for “leftover women” and led to increasing numbers of them across the country.
“I look for satisfactory material conditions and similar family background in a husband, not just emotional attachment,” said Deng Liting, a 22-year-old graduate in Guangzhou. “Men must have an apartment before looking for a wife. That has been a prerequisite among all the women I know.”
Property prices in recent years have stung people across the country, which has a deep-rooted tradition that every family should “own” its own home; living in rented accommodation just doesn’t provide the same level of happiness and accomplishment.
“I have heard and witnessed many break-up stories in real life,” Deng said. “Young couples in love who are forced to separate, or young women leaving their poor boyfriends for rich married men since the young men can’t afford an apartment for marriage.”
She said she would not get married until she found a man who had an apartment.
“Most men in my age bracket are not qualified because a graduate usually earns around 2,000 to 3,000 yuan a month, while an apartment now costs millions,” she said.
To look for a man with property, Deng said she had been busy arranging blind dates after graduating from college.
“All young women do the same thing, as far as I know,” she said. “We all understand how hard it is to find a good man for marriage under the current economic situation.”
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